Listen to the oldest lady

duminică, 28 februarie 2016

Have you ever wondered why you constantly feel drawn to that one person you think you love? Have you ever asked yourself why do you feel he holds in his big, strong hands your mind, your soul, your will and even your body like you belong to him? And you simply know that no matter what, you do belong to him. How is that?
 It is not the fact that you cannot leave, but you do not want to. Deep inside, you are sure you cannot leave, indeed. Your body aches every time you are apart. You are cold under the blanket, it seems too hot outside in the freezing  wind, you feel alone surrounded by people and you cannot think of anything else than his soul or his voice. You go to bed wondering if he is fine, happy, hungry, cold, alone and so on. You wake up in the middle of the night crying, realizing you fell asleep again without telling him “Good night! I love you!” You fall back, you dream of him. Every.single.night.
Why do you organize your whole day, week maybe, by his plans? Why do you try to find daily a way to go see him? You have to buy bread? Why buying it from the closest shop? No. You go to the closest shop to his place.  Just so you can say “I was nearby and I decided to see you”. What a lie, you little bloody in love girl.
You want to do everything with him, every little thing that crosses your mind and seems either interesting or funny. You picture your future days by his side. And they look gorgeous.
You also have moments when you cry. Because of him, because of the circumstances, because of yourself. There are moments in time when you doubt you love him. And you cry even harder then. You know it is a lie, a huge lie. You feel you love him and you are ready to prove anyone who doubts. Even yourself.  But you have to admit that there are times when he makes you doubt his love. Involuntary, of course. He just does not realize. He is a boy. Probably boys do not overthink like girls do. You lay down a while, think, analyze and cry to the conclusion that it was a misunderstanding. You see him again, his eyes talk to you and the sound of his heart’s beats did not change. He loves you. Like he always did.  Even more every day. Who knows?
In fact, why do you love him? The most complicated simple question. Why do you love this man? The answer can take a small fraction of a second or it can take your whole life to explain.  Besides that, you do not actually know why you love him. You just do. And that, my friend, is what love does to people. Your souls are made of the same material. Once they were one single soul. This is why you both are drawn to each other. And even when you want to leave, there’s something holding you back. Your soul loved his long before your bodies met.
You never thought of that, did you? Why do you think you desire him? Why do you wake up in the morning thinking of him, of what you both did recently? Why do you want to do it all over again? For pleasure? No. Bullshit. Your souls tend to be one again. How can two souls be one if they are trapped in separate bodies? They have to be one body. And we all know how that can be done.

This is why you love one man and one alone. And this is why he loves you and you cannot doubt that.  Because he’s you. And you are him. End of story.